You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Randomize
