my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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