If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
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