What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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