P.S. I can't hear my feet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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