Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
