You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
