Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
