I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
