I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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