goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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