Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
someone threw a dead crab at me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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