I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
