A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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