can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
