dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
