Its about making memories worth repressing
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
