I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
