I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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