3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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