It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize