im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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