I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
