one two three fourrrrnication!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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