69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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