my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
