Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
