can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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