what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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