I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize