OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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