I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Ketchup is God's man juice
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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