I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
