People in love make me want to vomit
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
