his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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