why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
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I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
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There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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