I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
A+ Viking dick
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