I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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