The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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