No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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