I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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