there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
