Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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