I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
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but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.