Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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