yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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