if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
