If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
