I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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