we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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