NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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