he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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