my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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