Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Can I color on your dick again?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I have aggressive nipples.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
