I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize