His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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