At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
