I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
